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Pro tip: bring a surgical glove.
Ibrought Purell, took all four rings off of my right hand, and removed my Whoop sleep tracker from my right wristat Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
Yesterday at three o’clock in the afternoon, one whole freaking day before Dune: Part Two opened in theaters, I was ready to (for science!) eat nothing but popcorn from the Dune bucket for the whole 162 minutes of the film. In case you haven’t seen it before, the viral vessel that you have to reach into to acquire popcorn at Dune is a rubbery reproduction of the front (face, mouth, butthole, etc.) of an Arrakian sandworm. Section Two: A scientific review of the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket was conducted. In many aspects, it looks like a tentacled suction cup for your hand. When I walked into AMC Lincoln Square, I expected to spend at least half of my right arm in a greasy adventure at Dune: The second section is our scientific analysis of the sandworm popcorn bucket.
Guess what? The theater ran out of the damn bucket. (Sickos, all of you.) Shameful! But I won’t lie to you—I was a little relieved. Instead, I polished off an entire large popcorn the old-fashioned way: fistfuls straight to mouth, no rubbery wormhole to circumnavigate. Thankfully, Esquire’s Senior Market Editor, Alfonso Fernandez Navas, saw the film on Wednesday, and he managed to get his hands on the (what I am now gathering is rare!) Duneussy, as he calls it in the review I asked him to film afterward. Here are his thoughts at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.):
It was surprising to receive a 10/10. It’s difficult to say for sure, but I want to say that eating out of the Dune bucket would have generally not been fun for me. I doubt I would have consumed a quarter of my popcorn during the previews, but it would have definitely slowed me down. (Which I actually did.) With the movie lasting close to three hours, it earns marks for prolonging the life of your popcorn, which is a very significant feature. If your bladder hasn’t already let you down at Dune: The Duneussy might just save you from having to make a second snack run and missing some of the movie. Second Section: Our Analysis of the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket (For Science).
The mess-prevention factor is worth noting as well, though I personally have zero problem with eating a few stray popcorn kernels off of my shirt throughout a film if need be. I feel like the sensation of coating my entire hand and forearm—once I got so deep into my popcorn that I had to start digging for more—would probably cancel out any cleanliness bonus that the souvenir provides with its small opening. What if I wanted to take a break from the popcorn to sip my drink, eat some candy, or just rest my arm? Would I get grease everywhere?! I also was wearing a thick sweater yesterday, which I would’ve theoretically had to remove (leaving me in a tank top like Alfonso, and I would’ve probably been cold) or push up my sleeve to the point where I’d cease blood flow in my right arm. If you do go to the theater with hopes of securing the Dune popcorn bucket, just wear a T-shirt. And maybe bring a surgical glove at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
Now, it is possible that there is an added sensory benefit to eating out of a rubber sandworm. If you’re the type of person who likes to keep their hands busy by playing with fidget spinner-esque toys, the rubbery wormhole will keep your hands occupied over the course of the film, well after you’ve finished your popcorn. But tread lightly. Don’t take it too far. If the person next to me started fisting their popcorn bucket in a rhythmic manner, I’m certain that would have been distracting—even if they were just harmlessly enjoying the sensation of the soft bristles on their hand at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
For anything beyond that? You could very well get arrested. I would recommend you just take the bucket home and do whatever you want with it there. Just… don’t list it on eBay afterward. Please at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).